How Not to Damage Your Children

How Not to Damage Your Children

March 5, 2014 A.D.

Our Lady Queen of Peace of Medjugorje’s March 2, 2014
Apparition and Message Given through Mirjana on the Day for Nonbelievers

The following is the message of Our Lady given through Mirjana during her apparition:

“Dear children; I am coming to you as a mother and I desire that in me, as in a mother, you may find your abode, consolation and rest. Therefore, my children, apostles of my love, pray. Pray with humble devotion, obedience and complete trust in the Heavenly Father. Trust as I have trusted when it was said to me that I will bring the blessing of the promise. May out of your hearts, from your lips, always come forth ‘May your will be done!’ Therefore, trust and pray so that I can intercede for you before the Lord, for Him to give you the Heavenly Blessing and fill you with the Holy Spirit. Then He will be able to help all those who do not know the Lord – you, apostles of my love, will help them to call Him ‘Father’ with complete trust. Pray for your shepherds and place your trust in their blessed hands. Thank you.”

How Not to Damage Your Children

by A Friend of Medjugorje

Today, the second of the month message from Our Lady to us, Her apostles, is being read across the world. There is a parallel in this Sunday’s (March 2, 2014) Mass reading that is also being read around the world. This cannot but be divinely planned. The Mass reading from Isaiah is short, powerful and part of Our Lady’s message She gave today. It is potent in its truths and caustic to the world, if we are honest, for it is echoed in Our Lady’s words to us today. The Sunday reading today, concentrated in a few words, contains only a statement, a question, and, a one sentence answer that must be reflected upon to discover what Our Lady is saying to us today through Mirjana.

Isaiah 49:14-15

“Zion said, ‘The Lord has forgotten me.’ Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.”

Medjugorje visionary, Marija received the monthly message to the world on November 25, 2005 in the Bedroom of Apparitions here at Caritas. When Marija wrote down the 25th message in private and came to a part of Our Lady’s words that said: “…I am with you and love you with a tender love…,” she looked up at the one who was with her and smiled saying, “This was so beautiful when Our Lady said this, both in Her words and Her face.” Is it possible for a mother to forget her infant? Or be without tenderness for the child of her womb? As no time in history, have we had such a neglect of true motherhood as now. Yet, many do not see this or understand its depth, even in the Church. Visionary Marija asked Our Lady in 1982-1983 about the 5-volume set of books called The Poem of the Man-God. Our Lady stated, “One must read them.”* In volume one of the book, it is written that Jesus said the following:

“They are everybody’s children, except yours, O parents of the twentieth century. They are the children of the nurse, of the governess, of the college, if you are rich people. They belong to their companions; they are the children of the streets, of the schools, if you are poor. But they are not yours. You, mothers, give birth to them and that is all. And you, fathers, do exactly the same. But a son is not only flesh. He has a mind, a heart, a soul. Believe Me, no one is more entitled and more obliged than a father and a mother to form that mind, that heart, that soul.”

The reading of today’s Mass continues and says, “Even should she forget, I will never forget you.” This week, in the United States, a young mother crashed her car, got out of the car and then watched it burn. The fire truck arrived while she just stood there and watched. Seeing she was okay, there was no reason for a rescue. Just put the fire out. To their horror, after they put out the fire, they found a nineteen-month-old baby in the car.

“Even should she forget, I will never forget you.”

Could this mother really forget her child? Was she without tenderness for the child of her womb? After an investigation, the police thought so and arrested her for homicide.

We have a great deception taking place in our society, that most every fault concerning the breakdown of the family is upon the man, the husband, the father. Yet, why does Our Lady continue telling the world She is coming as a “mother” and dressed in gray, and as Marija has said, as a servant? The world today bombards society with harsh criticism against men for the lack of fatherhood, but is it rather that he is overruled by a society that resents the father? Virtually every news program concerning this issue, Hollywood’s propaganda, television sitcoms, etc., demean, ridicule, diminish, and ultimately disrespect fatherhood. When fatherhood is exercised as it should be, in guidance and leadership, it often is held in contempt. On the flip side, the woman is lifted up, not for motherhood, but rather she is praised for her career, for chasing self-realization, for meeting her needs first, all at the expense and loss of respect for fatherhood. We have a great void, so great of a void we can, without exaggeration, call it a chasm. Our Lady tells us today to put complete trust in the husband, to respect him with awe and reverence when She says, “humble devotion, obedience and complete trust in the Heavenly Father.” The man/father/husband’s deficiencies are not to trump Our Lady’s guidance, because it is not for his traits that he is owed great respect. He is to be revered for his “position,” for it is the Heavenly Father’s position that he represents in the world. It is, therefore, the reason this position is held in contempt by society which is always blaring its ridicule. But if the position is exercised in neutrality and in submission to women, if the man and father is rather just present in the home without fulfilling his God-given role, society’s voices praise him as a good father. A humble woman, a devoted woman, a woman who puts complete trust in her husband, despite what he lacks, will teach her child to be humble, devoted, and completely trustful of the Heavenly Father, as well as to earthly authority. She will raise her boys to become good fathers when they come of age. If a mother is not in a good situation, she can still witness to her children, instilling in them what will get them through the adversities of life. Witnessing this through the mother, young children will become humble, devoted, obedient and faithful to their future spouses or to a religious vocation.

Our Lady tells us today, March 2, 2014:

“…I am coming as a mother and I desire that in me, as in a mother, you may find your abode, consolation and rest…”

Why would Our Lady say this if, “as a mother,” mothers today already provide an abode, a consolation, where one can rest peacefully? Our Lady says this not because fatherhood is in crisis upon the earth, rather just the opposite! Womanhood, motherhood is the world’s great crisis. It is what has birthed the crisis of fatherhood among boys who were raised without a proper motherly witness. They were denied a peaceful abode, a consolation and a source of rest.

You cannot understand these words if you do not pray, do not fast, do not convert, do not confess. Women today follow a world of other women in which the lineage of this mentality can be traced all the way back to Eve eating the apple. Adam, placed in a leadership role that was given and anointed to be so by God the Father, submitted to Eve, the woman. Following this pattern, our society today has become a female-driven society, rather than male-driven, and all society has lost their abode, consolation and rest. Societies are restless because mothers have forsaken or mitigated their roles and adopted, instead, selfish redefinitions of what ‘mother’ is. ‘Mother’ is the vessel which nurtures life, gives birth to a child, but also is the greatest sole influence of a child in the first few years. She profoundly influences the child’s image of the father. If she praises his good attributes, ignoring his faults, the child will be mentally and spiritually whole when coupled with a moral foundation. If the mother ignores the good attributes, and instead, focuses on the father’s deficiencies, you will have a home—to the degree it is done—with a great loss of peace, leading in many cases to the break-up of the home. This is true even if the mother is coupling her demeaning actions and comments of her husband with a moral foundation when teaching her child. The child’s life is primarily formed and imprinted through either being a good or lacking mother; of being or not being humble and devoted; of providing or not providing an abode for the future family, a consolation for society, obedience to her state in life. The imprint in the son by the mother, in those first few years, will help him understand who he is to be, which is a reflection of the Heavenly Father. Through the mother’s witness of love and respect to the father, she will teach both her boys and girls to be humble, devoted to their spouses, and obedient to God the Father. The boy will be imprinted with this knowledge, and in his husbandhood/fatherhood, through either a family or a religious vocation, he will become a man who can be trusted. With this knowledge he will, himself, become more respectful and faithful to whatever state in life he is called.

Many today do not trust their shepherds. Today Our Lady said, “…Trust as I have trusted when it was said to me that I will bring the blessing of the promise…” Our Lady understands our reasons for mistrusting our shepherds, yet She says, “…place your trust in their blessed hands…” Whether it be the shepherd of the family or the shepherd of a diocese, the blessing of the promise will come through the “shepherd’s” hands, not through the hands of the ‘shepherdess.’ If you, the woman, do not do what the Woman, who is Mary, said today, “…trust as I have trusted in the Heavenly Father…”, you and the whole world will never have young boys grow up to be fathers who will be trusted. Our Lady wants us not to look at man’s actions, but his position. When you refocus on the husband’s position, his role given through a mandate by God, he will be inclined to fulfill his position more fully. This will not happen until earthly mothers fulfill their role and position. It may surprise some mentalities, but Our Lady did not live for Jesus first. She lived for the Heavenly Father. God was Her devotion, the Heavenly Father was Her abode. The Heavenly Father was the object of Her humble devotion of prayer, obedience and complete trust. Only then did the angel Gabriel come and say to Her that She would, as She said today, “… bring the blessing of the promise…” Through Our Lady not putting Jesus above Her first earthly devotion to the Heavenly Father, as so many mothers today do in putting their children above the father and his authority in their families, Jesus was secure in His mother’s arms. This principle of placing the father first in devotion, obedience and respect creates an abode that gives and instills the greatest consolation and trust in the children. Children who are placed above the position of the father are denied this abode and consolation. In the former example, security is bred and birthed in the heart of children where fatherhood comes first. In the latter example, insecurity is bred in the children who are placed above the position of the father. We live in a very insecure world, a female-driven society, that is causing the garden of the earth the Heavenly Father wanted for us, to be destroyed. The poison apple is being eaten and it is the cause of the fall of the female-dominated man. He sadly follows.

There is one major aspect that satan has accomplished. It is so deceptive that it has successfully been accomplished in our schools, families, in the public and now even influencing and changing the Bible to accommodate satan’s scheme. Without being aware, the pulpits ring out everyday, advancing hell’s plan to change God’s structure and order to what is satan’s order which is to divide and reorder, and therefore, conquer. satan knows that to be successful at this, he must become the “master” through the “weaker vessel,” a reference to women by St. Peter:

1 Peter 3:7

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace.”

satan wants to take that inheritance away. How few give honor anymore to woman. satan has stolen much of the grace for which to be honored. What did satan do in the garden of Eden? Something not so complicated, but it was very, very clever. What is satan doing today? The same trick he did in the garden. That one little trick caused the fall of man. satan knows it works, so why would he not duplicate it? It is so simple, as it is his kiss to us, as his view of us is that man is stupid. That is why satan’s strategy, his “KISS,” stands for “Keep It Simple Stupid.” There are four simple steps to this aspect of his plan:

1. satan attacks oneness.
2. he divides.
3. he reverses to the opposite of God.
4. he brings the reverse back into oneness, but under his satanic direction.


satan’s Strategy through Changing Verbiage

When addressing all of humanity, we used to say the all-inclusive verbiage of “mankind,” “his,” “he,” “brotherhood,” etc., meaning every man, woman, girl and boy. satan said this was discrimination and attacked the word that everybody knew meant ‘oneness’ and was, therefore, not discriminatory. So satan then began his second step to divide. The verbiage was changed to “man or woman,” “his or her,” “he or she,” “brotherhood and sisterhood,” etc. Today satan has already graduated to the third step, putting the word “woman” before the word “man.” It is common to see this reversal everywhere: “woman or man,” “hers or his,” “she or he,” “sisters and brothers,” “humankind.” And now, gradually, everyone is accepting his final goal of reversal. The fourth step of satan is the same trick, as mentioned, that he used in the garden. Eve did not listen to Adam and he, in turn, submitted to Eve. satan completed a reversal of roles. In the same way, the fourth step brings about a total reversal back into an opposite oneness where the woman is in charge and not man which is illustrated to an all efficient inclusive word s/he. This is what is being taught in school textbooks today and other avenues. How clever satan is and how stupidly, dumb-downed man has become. Being a master at cleverness, satan hides what he is doing through clothing it by means of creating a reason for change. In this case of verbiage, satan guides man to think “we must correct discrimination against women.” This is seemingly a legitimate argument, but it actually is a subterfuge to hide his real reason. He, thereby, gets fools to accept stupidity, while getting others to just think with apathy that it is no use to resist or fight change, as it is not that big of a deal. In other words, don’t make 15 out of 1. While it is not a big deal to many, while others couldn’t care less and still others would think to resist this verbiage change is making 15 out of 1, this thinking is what satan wants people to believe. It is not so for satan who knows his plan is a big deal. He cares very much for it to succeed, and plans to make 15 out of 1. He wants no awareness of him being behind a seemingly good cause so as not to get resistance. Our Lady warns us of this master deception in Her May 25, 1995 message:

“…satan is strong and with all his forces wants to bring the most people possible closer to himself and to sin. That is why he is on the prowl to snatch more every moment. I beg you, little children, pray and help me to help you. I am your Mother and I love you and that is why I wish to help you…”

We go from the all-inclusive word of “mankind,” to separating words, dividing man and woman into separate groups, “he, she,” etc., then reversing the she before he, to finally arrive at the satanic goal of an all inclusive word that means the same thing as “mankind,” inclusive of “all”; the new word is “s/he.” How do you pronounce the world s/he? Is it pronounced she – he? Then why not just write she/he? Is it pronounced s – slash – he? No, there is only one way to pronounce it. S/he is pronounced she. She for referencing all mankind. Now we arrive at the reversal – “mankind” is changed for “s/he.” Later, the slash will be dropped when s/he is accepted enough to mean what the word mankind originally meant. The universities and accommodating businesses, as well as activists, will see to it as they are the avenues for each of satan’s steps. Everyone underestimates the power of change that comes through the great power of verbiage. satan’s first action to Eve, his first step to reverse roles and put the woman in charge was through what means? Words! Words are the first move of satan to change what is of God to what is not of God. Remember satan’s words to Eve? “Did God really say that?” Satan’s words today, “Is changing mankind to s/he really that bad?”

Unless the world gives humble devotion, obedience and complete trust in the Heavenly Father and recognizes who represents His Heavenly Father’s role on earth, nothing will change and the world will continue to fall into the abyss it has been heading to for a long time.

This writing has nothing to do with demeaning women, rather, to lift women up. Women are lifted up when motherhood is lifted to its rightful, sacred, holy position. It takes a lot of prayer and wisdom, reading of Scripture, reading of Our Lady’s messages to cut through all the deception spewed out by the educational systems and the rest of society in order to see through the haze of smoke by which satan is deceiving the world. It is not warring nations that begin war, for it comes from war in the family. War in the family comes from the struggle between man and woman, whom God wants peace between, and whom satan wants division between. A man will never be a man submitting to the woman when he knows otherwise what God calls him and his family to do. A woman will never have inner serenity or peace being over the man. It is cored into the natural through nature. No one can legislate this principle out. It is an eternal truth. When attempts are made to force a change, to reverse what God ordained, anarchy ensues. When Adam and Eve’s roles reversed, it led to the murder of Abel. The reversal of roles today will lead to the murder of the family and all society. The world is headed toward anarchy and does not even realize it. Our Lady has come to draw it out. Our Lady said:

February 17, 1984

“…The world has been drawn into a great whirlpool. It does not know what it is doing. It does not realize in what sin it is sinking…”

Some, even many, may not like what is stated in this writing. Truth was often hard to accept, even by Jesus’ apostles. Do you think it is any more difficult now for Our Lady’s apostles? Because some may object, this does not change eternal truth to untruth. Truth is ‘always’! Even if everyone on earth believes it is not so, it does not change even a part of the letter of the Word. The Word is Jesus. The Father of the Word is God. satan hates the Word. satan, therefore, used words to trick Eve. satan, today, uses what worked in the garden – a war against the Heavenly Father, the earthly father by his use of words. S/he will be in charge and rule the earth.

Isaiah 3:12 says:

“A babe in arms will be their tyrant, and women will rule them.”

If children are tyrants, is she who rules over them not who made them so? When fathers are not respected for their position, when they are not listened to and their role is mitigated by society, children will not be formed properly. Many will be filled with an evil that inoculates the culture with its poison. In the formation years before giving more responsibility of formation to the father, a mother who loves her children, placing few demands upon them, who neutralizes formation leaving the TV, video games, playmates, etc. to guide them, not requiring them to do chores, be responsible, teach them to listen to their father, and who submits her mothering to the child’s whims makes a tragic error. Instead, “she” should be teaching them both by example and formation to live a moral, principled life based in and through love. ‘S/he’ who does not instill moral principles and truths within her child creates a heart that, when grownup, will range anywhere between being lukewarm in his devotion to God to being a non-believer, all the way to becoming a heinous murderer.
For several years, the Minnesota Crime Commission, in order to determine what makes criminals, performed many studies. This secular report came up with an amazing conclusion. Pastor Ravi Zacharias explains this report:

“Listen to what the Minnesota Crime Commission says about the reality of the human heart. We hear philosophers talking about a tabula rasa – a blank slate with which we are born. Listen to what years of research tells this Minnesota Crime Commission. Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered. He wants what he wants when he wants it – his bottle, his mother’s attention, his playmates’ toys, his uncle’s watch. Deny him these once, and he seethes with rage and aggressiveness, which could be murderous were he not so helpless. He is dirty. He has no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills. This means that all children are born delinquent, and if permitted to continue in their self-impulsive actions to satisfy each want, every child would grow up a criminal, a killer. A staggering exposé of what you and I can be like with a heart that is untaught and untrained. Can you think of the potentiality of a killer in a young, innocent-looking life? But you see, somewhere we have believed that if only we educated them, they will be alright. If only we send them to college, they will be alright. I think dear Moody said it well. If a man is stealing nuts and bolts from a railroad track and you want to change him, so you send him to college, he said that at the end of his education, he will steal the whole railroad track. All we do is make ourselves more sophisticated in our duplicity and all of the schemes of the human heart can engender. If our educational system needs to read anything today, as they take out the 10 Commandments…If the heart is corrupt when it is born and if knowledge alone does not change us – what then is needed?”

The Minnesota Crime Commission stated that a child left without a parent’s formation, “has no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills.” Many adults today have no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills because they were not formed as children, or they were formed in the wrong way. They are self-impulsive, looking to satisfy their own wants and many, therefore, do not know the Heavenly Father, who is represented by the earthly father. The mother’s reaction to the father should be such as to lead her child to a moral way of life, to knowledge/wisdom and to the development of skills. In the early developmental years of a child, it is the mother who holds the reins, who has the greatest responsibility to train that child “in the way he should go.” The father’s role is to reinforce and support the mother’s training. But as the child grows, the father is gradually taking over the reins. His responsibility in forming the children should be increasing, while the mother’s role changes to reinforcing and supporting the father’s guidance, formation and discipline. The father, having been given the reins to guide and lead the children from the mother, takes the greater responsibility in formation as the youth evolves with reason, and as they mature and grow into their teenage years. It is the woman alone who has the many traits, both in nature and in tenderness, to bring the child from infancy to this point of giving way to the father.

The trouble today is there are often no reins (formation) the children are harnessed with because of mothers who do not proactively instill in their young children, through their own witness, moral attributes. These would include virtues such as: don’t talk back, clean up after yourselves, respect adults, among a myriad of other lessons. But most of all, always obey and listen to your father and respect him. A lieutenant, sitting next to George Washington’s mother, asked her how did Washington turn out to be the great man he became. Washington’s mother replied, “I taught him to obey.” Some of these attributes begin to be instilled in a child less than a year old. Do not think the child is not smart enough. If their mind can learn a language without having to ask questions at the age of 1 ½ – 2 ½, they certainly can be formed. If this formation is not given, by the time the reins should be handed to the father, he has little or no ability to form his children because they do not respond if there are no reins to give. They have already become unruly, undisciplined, rebellious and wild.

A second scenario that exists is the mother who recognizes that the child needs a father’s influence, but she reserves the right to thwart any decision she doesn’t agree with. The child is then faced with who does he listen to as two directions are often given, both parents telling him different things to do. What happens to a horse when you kick him to go, but at the same time, pull back on the reins, telling him to stop? The horse becomes frustrated, then unruly and then develops bad habits and behavior. A father who presses for his way often finds that holding the reins is useless or ineffective because of the mother thwarting his decisions or formation, her actions trumping and overruling his. That child will resent the parent who is stricter and puts more demands on him and will rebel against not just the stricter parent, but both parents, because of not having a witness of respect for authority.

In the last case scenario, there are many mothers today who often refuse to hand the reins over at all to their husbands. The wife places herself as the primary authority over the husband’s authority in guidance and formation of the children as they grow and mature. Disregarding the father’s responsibility in forming the children cripples the children in their understanding of order and obedience. As children age, a trading of roles between the wife and husband should take place. The wife held the primary position of formation in the infancy and toddler years, while the husband was the one to reinforce the wife/mother’s authority. As the child moves towards the age of reason, the father then takes over the reins given to him by the mother, and becomes the primary guide of the child through his youth to young adult age. The mother then becomes the one who reinforces and supports the father’s authority and direction. Both parents who work in harmony with their roles will be sought out by their children for their wisdom, even when the children are grown and married. To restate these three scenarios:

1. The mother not imprinting the young child with moral virtue but rather just caring for his physical needs, raising him in a neutral vacuum, giving little reinforcement of her own or her husband’s authority to lead the children later. No reins harnessed leaves no ability of guidance.

2. The mother forms the children without regard to the father’s direction or reinforcement of the father’s direction. Therefore, when the father takes the reins, he cannot bring the children to order and obedience.

3. The mother refuses to give up the reins to the father or with limitations.

The result of any of the above three scenarios is a wild house filled with unruly, unbroken children who are always resisting discipline and formation, going the opposite direction from the father’s guidance, and who learn to despise part or all authority.

This is not to say that the mother should have no influence on the child’s formation when handing the reins to the father. She is still often with the child more than the father. But the father’s direction must be carried out through the mother’s witness. The mother may be more virtuous than the father. But if she usurps his authority, she teaches that God’s authority is also not important. A child will do better with the mother witnessing respect for her husband and obedience to his desires, while also setting an example of a virtuous and holy life which makes believers of the children, than if she takes matters into her own hands and insists the children follow her direction while thwarting the father’s, which makes unbelievers of the children.

Our Lady tells us today what is needed to reverse what satan has reversed. The woman who rocks the cradle rules the world. There lies the answer to change the direction of the world. The system and mentality that must be overcome is symbolized and represented by: “daycare centers that rock the cradles, rule the world.” A system of many various surrogate mothers by the world. It is Our Lady who says today:

“…I am coming to you ‘as a mother’ and ‘I’ desire that, ‘in me’, ‘as a mother’, you may find your abode, consolation, and rest…”

If these traits and virtues were in earthly mothers in today’s world, Our Lady would not say this, nor would God have to and need to send Her to the world to save it. God sends the “Woman,” the “Mother,” to save the “women,” the “mothers,” of the earth to save the world. It is precisely for this reason that Our Lady says and conveys this, so that in the future this reality will manifest in motherhood and save the world. Motherhood is that powerful. Women are powerful. Powerful for good. Powerful for bad. True ‘mothers’ can change the world and will, when motherhood changes. The world will be what the families will be.

Pastor Zacharias said: “…exposé of what you and I can be like with a heart that is untaught and untrained…” The best teacher is witness by one’s example. A great void today is the witness of the mother towards the husband/father. A mother who has taught and trained her children through her devotion to their father will give her children the consolation of belief and trust in the Heavenly Father that will strengthen them in fulfilling their role in marriage or through a solid religious vocation. It is not through providing clothing, through feeding them, or sending them to college that they will receive the necessary love for the Heavenly Father. The better a child’s relationship with the earthly father, the easier it will be for them to have a relationship with the Heavenly Father. It is Our Lady’s repeated witness of Her life that gives us direction in this. And it is echoed yet again today with Her words when She presents Herself not as a queen, but rather as a mother. It is a mother who brings peace to a home, even where there is war. Then everyone in the home will look upon the mother of the house as its queen, their queen of peace.

What of the man’s responsibility in this? Most men in today’s culture have been exposed, for decades, to aspects of feminization. Not necessarily in their manliness, but in their mentality. However, if it is fermented in the mentality, it eventually evolves into the feminization of boys who grow up not understanding their role as leaders of the families, as providers and protectors as well as being the spiritual heads of their homes. Man did not create that role for himself, God did. A man not raised to understand his role is not excused from changing, once he is enlightened, but rather must work to fulfill his role according to God’s plan for man. A man/father cannot use his poor upbringing as a crutch by which he refuses to change to what he is called to be by his Heavenly Father. The purpose of conversion is that we become a new creation in Christ. That doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process. But it is a process that must be accepted and embraced by both men and women, fathers and mothers, if we want to see a better world for our children and our children’s children.

If, as a woman, you feel that you are in an inferior position in having to lower yourself in order to raise up men, you have the wrong perspective. You do not diminish yourselves, nor lower yourselves. When God began to put into motion the plan for salvation—He chose a Woman from which to birth that plan. The Virgin Mary is a mortal being, a Creature made by Her Creator, like you and I, but unique in the grace afforded to Her and Her alone. Out of every creature that God has ever created, it is a woman who has been raised above them all—above every man, even the angels—no creature who has ever lived or who will ever live will be placed higher or even equal to the Virgin Mary. God reserved that place for the Woman, and in doing so raised the dignity, the value, the reverence of all women. It is women who hold the power to change the world. satan keeps this knowledge from women, keeping them chasing after things that have no eternal value, while seeing their families, marriages, and homes destroyed, which affects the individuals eternally. It is not an easy task set before them to reverse what satan has engineered, but it is a task the Virgin Mary is calling women to—not for their diminishment, but so that they can return, once again, to the lofty throne which God reserved for them as queens of their homes and families.

Proverbs 31:28

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

In Complete Trust in the Heavenly Father,
A Friend of Medjugorje
About the Author

*The Church on April 17, 1993, clearly stated that the faithful could read the writing of Maria Valtorta’s The Poem of the Man-God, but the distribution of the writings must include the following statement:

“The ‘visions’ and ‘dictations’ referred to in the work, The Poem of the Man-God, are simply the literary forms used by the author to narrate in her own way the life of Jesus. They cannot be considered supernatural in origin.”


P.S. For more insight into Our Lady’s message given today, be sure to listen to the Radio WAVE show with A Friend of Medjugorje, which will goes in-depth into even different aspects of Our Lady’s message. To listen to the March 3 Radio WAVE show titled, “Get Ready for the Greatest Miracle of Your Life”, visit here…



Caritas Commmunity praying morning prayer at the Cross

The Caritas Community gathered for prayer at the foot of the Cross several days in a row leading up to the second of March and Our Lady’s latest message to the world given today in Medjugorje. A year ago, there was no Cross on this mountain. A year ago, work was just getting started to begin forming the roads to lead up to this mountain. Then there was the excavation of the site, the laying of a rock solid foundation, and finally the construction of the Cross itself. Every step of the way was intentional—thought out, planned out, carried out—through prayer. Who, today, intentionally goes to the Cross, embraces the Cross, makes a sign-post of the Cross for all the world to see? There is a war against the Cross of Jesus Christ throughout our world today. Lawsuits are being filed in the United States to take down Crosses in public areas. Darkness knows the power of the Cross. How sad that today, so many Christians do not. Our Lady said:

December 2, 2013

“…My children, the Father comes to be known through the cross. Therefore, do not reject the cross. Strive to comprehend and accept it with my help. When you will be able to accept the cross you will also understand the love of the Heavenly Father; you will walk with my Son and with me; you will differ from those who have not come to know the love of the Heavenly Father, those who listen to Him but do not understand Him, those who do not walk with Him – who have not come to know Him…”

It is plain. It is clear. You cannot come to know the Father or His love without accepting the cross. To reject the cross is to reject the Father. To reject the Father is to invite chaos and war into our homes, nations, and world.

Caritas Commmunity collecting rocks

The work of the community, on Tuesday, February 25 and Friday and Saturday, February 28 and March 1, was very hard and laborious. Before sunup to after sundown, large rocks were picked up and deposited over and over again into the large bucket of our loader. The loader would then dump the rocks near the Cross where the rocks were then hand placed on the slope leading up to the Cross. This was for the purpose of preventing the washout and erosion of the mountain upon which the Cross stands. We are required to do this also in our spiritual lives, and the lives of our communities. There is the constant need to shore up our spiritual and moral foundations. If we do not, if we neglect the hard work and attention that is required, we will find our foundation slipping away and the crosses that we carry, instead of making us stronger, will bring about the destruction of our lives. A Friend of Medjugorje often speaks of the cycle of “sin, suffering, salvation.” In his writing, “Who’s Driving,” he address this problem we all experience in our spiritual lives, while also shedding light upon Our Lady’s words today concerning the “Heavenly Blessing” She is promising to bring to us:

“We have taken God’s blessings for granted as a nation. His blessings are a problem for our human nature because our nature, not His blessings, starts the cycle of sin, suffering, salvation. How do we stay in the cycle of salvation? There is only one way: prayer and sacrifice…in the midst of blessings, rather than beginning to allow your nature to enter into the next cycle of the “S’s,” you must anchor yourself in the cycle of salvation. To be immovable means to live in moderation, self-governing, and self-denial. To use the blessings unreservedly for self will make one grow weary from the fruit of the blessings that have been obtained. The cycle of salvation often, sooner or later, will come with a period of comfort, little or no struggle or effort which leads to relaxation of the spiritual life, coasting. But when you coast, which direction are you going? The blessings begin to breed independence, rather than dependence on God. Prayer slackens, as well as self-denial and sacrifice, and this is what eventually starts the cycle again.”

From the Writing of A Friend of Medjugorje, “Who’s Driving.”

Caritas Commmunity Child James

Little James is happy sitting in the driver’s seat of a tractor being used to help with the rocks. In fact, if you tried to remove him, his smile would suddenly be replaced with tears and a defiant “no!” As adults, we also want to sit in the driver’s seat. We don’t want to relinquish control of our lives to God. We can be just as defiant when He desires us to move in a direction we don’t want to go. Our Lady speaks of trust in Her message today. “Trust” is connected to “Blessing.” If we don’t trust, we cannot receive the blessings God wants to give to us through our faith in Him. A Friend of Medjugorje encourages us to “let go” of having to be in the driver’s seat:


“The bumper sticker on some cars pridefully stating, “God is my co-pilot,” contains a blind pride promoting, “Hey, God is in my car,” but really saying, “I’m the pilot and God is helping.” What Christian wants God to be in “co” position − in other words, second place? No Christian would answer yes, yet in reality this is what most Christians have done. Make a change now. Pick a quiet place and get on your knees to prepare yourself to give everything to God. Put Him first in your life; consecrate all and surrender all, everything you are, you do, everything you possess and give it over to God. Get out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger’s; surrender, relax, and actively pray and sacrifice because God will be in control. It is your choice; by releasing control, you gain a far superior power, that which flows from God. He can negotiate curves and avoid many traffic jams and red lights. With Him in that position, you need not be afraid of the wet curves and other obstacles. Too many things and concerns of the world have accumulated in our hearts. We have become idol worshippers without realizing it, and many Christians have satan driving them, not even detecting his control over their lives. Give God all things and positions that He can take control. But He needs you to let Him drive.”

From the Writing of A Friend of Medjugorje, “Who’s Driving.”

Caritas Commmunity children school project and flowers

On Friday, February 28, placed on the altar of the Cross was a poster the young community children put together in their religion class. For every prayer, sacrifice or good work they did during the month of February, they glued colorful flowers to fill up the vase as an offering to Our Lady. They plan to present these flowers of sacrifice during apparition time on June 25, 2014. The prayers and penances were given to Our Lady, in faith that blessings would come through them.

On the mountain, at the end of these backbreaking work days of moving so many heavy stones, community members spread themselves throughout the top of the mountain to sow wild flower seeds. The work, done in peace, unity and joy, was offered to Our Lady, along with the flower seeds, in hope of Her blessing upon us, our families, our nation and our world. The seed was sown in faith that the flowers will appear one day.

The above poster contained the following prayer of the children, which they recited together during apparition time:

“Mary, we give to you the Flowers of our Witness: ways that we have lived your messages this month. Ways that we have lived love, forgiveness, joy, peace. We offer our special sacrifices and prayer as flowers to you. Thank you for your messages and this way of life.”

The Cross on Penitentiary Mountain

“Medjugorje is a sign, as Israel was, that peace must be experienced with discipline and continued thanksgiving. If not, it will flutter away as a butterfly without notice, leaving in its midst war, just as Medjugorje has suffered for the last several years.1 That war can be in your heart, family or nation. If years of struggle will win for you peace, once that is achieved, it is absolutely necessary that your prayers continue for ‘peace’ in your heart, ‘peace’ in your family, and ‘peace’ in your nation. The cross Our Lady pointed at to Marija will bring you, ‘peace, peace, peace.’”2

A Friend of Medjugorje
From his writing, “Crisis-Discipline”


If Medjugorje is a sign as Israel was, then the witness of Our Lady’s children must be such as to confirm that sign, over and over and over again. “Humble devotion, obedience and complete trust in the Heavenly Father” will convict and convert the most hardened nonbeliever, if there is peace in everything we do.

August 1984

“Your responsibility is to accept Divine peace, to live it, and to spread it, not through words, but through your life.”

1. The war that is referred to here is the Balkan war that took place in the early to mid 1990’s

2. This experience of Marija happened on the third day of the apparitions in Medjugorje. Click here to read of that apparition.

Lucy in socks at the Cross

For anyone who has ever stood in bare feet on a tile or concrete floor, you know what cold feels like, especially when the weather is cold outside. However, the Caritas kids prefer life without shoes, regardless of the weather conditions. They are growing up tough, through fathers wanting to build toughness in their children, and mothers acquiescing to this direction of the fathers. Little Lucy, surrounded by community members in coats and coveralls, while in her stocking feet, hands Our Lady’s message book to her mother. She is proud to be given the privilege of helping to pick out Our Lady’s message for the whole community. This is the new normal, readying our children for a different world that we know is coming, away from the comfort-seeking attitudes of today and a preoccupation of worrying about children catching a cold. No shoes on cold days, witnessing a life of sacrifice and penance that they desire to imitate, meals where bread and water is the only thing served, discipline and bending their wills to adults makes for strong, self-assured, confident, and yes, joyful children. As they grow, what obstacles can stand in their way that hard work, a sacrificial spirit, and confidence in God’s blessing can’t solve?


Prayer for Nonbelievers

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Community Plea 2023-2024 - $190,500 of $200,000

Only $9,500 left to reach the goal!

See where we stand in reaching the goal for the 2023-2024 Community Plea. If you have not yet read this update, a Friend of Medjugorje gives some strong teachings which are important for you to be informed.

For the latest update and to help us reach the goal visit here

5 thoughts on “How Not to Damage Your Children”

  1. I am really enjoying everything I read and hear, thank you so much. I pray for my children to come back to the church. This world is full of evil things. Thank you for everything

  2. Bob&JoyceKeegan

    Prayers Please for whatever and whomever we should be praying and in thanksgiving for God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, Mother Mary and the Angles and Saints being so good to us. THANK YOU! LOVE, PEACE and JOY! 8/3/14 Bob & Joyce Keegan

  3. This is the greatest article I have ever read. As a 17 year old everyone my age only cares about clothes, popularity, money, and themselves. I wish there could be just one, single country in the world with completely Catholic laws, morals, and a real community that cares for each other and prays together.

  4. Thanks Mother for your Motherly Love for us. Thanks for sending messages, dear friends. In this period of Lent, I am trying hard to full fill your intentions, and to be close to Jesus.

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